Right now I consider myself lucky to be in the situation I am in; I get to see my partner on a fairly regular basis, he is awesome and caring, we both put in the effort, I talk to him everyday. A pretty normal relationship.
But it is hard, my boyfriend lives 5-hours away but often is gone for weeks or months at a time on top of that for his job. In the fall, our distance is going to extend to being now 12-hours away. He will eventually, soon-ish?, be moving with me, we just don’t know exactly when. While the wait and uncertainty can be discouraging , I remind myself how positive this relationship is and how important it is to me.
Yes I can’t wait to live with my significant other, I value what I have learned over our three-years doing long-distance and oddly enough I find myself pretty fortunate to experience one.
These are the 10 positive things I have learnt from being in a long-distance relationship (LDR) .
1. You Learn to be Independent & To Cope
There are events like formals or dinners that I just would not have a date for – but that’s okay, you can have go and have fun with yourself!
2. You Learn to Communicate
The phone and technology is your best friend. You learn to open-up and say what is on your mind and if there are any issues you have to solve it out by talking with each other. If things get busy, you learn to keep them in the loop and what is going on in your life. Even if it’s a short 2 minute phone call to say goodnight, you make it work.
3. You Learn to Listen
This goes hand-and-hand with communication. You have to listen to your partner and be present in the conversation, whether it is from texting or a call.
4. You Learn to Trust
Trusting is crucial if you want your LDR to work. Relationships are built on trust, and if you can do this with someone that is hundreds or thousands of miles away you know you have a strong relationship with someone.
5. You Learn What Values Most to You and to Prioritise
If you’re in college, a good example may mean making sure you’re getting your homework done early before a visit, studying really hard earlier in the day to be able to Skype or FaceTime.
6. You Learn to Become Selfless
Yes, all relationships should be based on selflessness. However, in a LDR you cannot be selfish. You have to look out for each other and genuinely want the best for them even if that means without you.
Your end goal should be together. But there are certain circumstances that may be your LDR needs to in their city for work or school and that it is a better opportunity for them – even if it sucks for you.
Sometimes weekend plans don’t work out and they have a work-dinner or a concert with their friends instead and you shouldn’t hold them back.
7. You Learn Patience
You are busy and have life, and so does your significant other. You have to be understanding that they want to go hangout with friends, work, relax; and you, too! You have to be patient when planning phone calls or when you can visit each other. And you learn to respect schedules and encourage them to still have fun without you.
8. You Learn to Budget
You might skip a night out to save money for a trip to see your significant other. You might have a savings account dedicated to be able to plan a next visit.
9. You Learn to Make the Most of Your Time
Same-city couples may see each other everyday, or live together.
Having the ability to see each other frequently allows for more opportunity to maybe sleep in til noon on Saturday. For me, my significant other wakes me up at 9:30am on Saturday and gets me up to have coffee so we can get our day going together.
10. You Learn to live in the Moment
The feeling of finally seeing your significant is rewarding. You enjoy your time together with what you have. When I visit my boyfriend, we don’t really plan what we want do. Go for a drive? Okay, Go grab a beer at a local craft brewery to check out? Okay,
We genuinely enjoy the moments we have.
The most important thing to remember is that if you genuinely enjoy having someone in your life, you will make it work.
Yes, LDR challenges things but if it’s meant to be it’ll be be.